Tuesday, 23 September 2014


If you are looking for answers in this blog it isn't really for you. To be honest I'm not entirely sure why I'm writing it, it isn't something I've thought about very much. Perhaps I should? Then again perhaps not. Thing is, I'm looking for answers too but if I am honest with myself I don't really know what the questions are. Maybe we'll find out as we meander our way through this river of words.

The thing with the Art of Slack is it is much more of a stroll than a strident march to the top of a mountain. It is such an intangible thing this Art, it is neither possible to press a finger down upon it to stop it wriggling away nor contain its meaning in your head all at once. But you'll see it peeping around the corner every now and then and I always recognise it when it appears. In fact that is very nearly the point: any attempt to pin it down means it will just get further away. If you want to keep a little part of it to yourself you may have to let it get away.

As a self-proclaimed expert practitioner in the Art of Slack, I know neither what it is nor can I coherently explain what it isn't. Or is. Or something.

Let's begin with a practical example, to dip a toe in the water and see whether you are also digit paddling on the other side of the pond.

I have a way of finding lost things that takes the finding away from the losing. If I have lost something that is replaceable, I replace it and within minutes the missing item will feel lonely or superseded and will appear from the ether shouting “what about me, what about ME!”

To find lost, replaceable things this as a technique works without fail. Soon after replacing something the original will appear no matter how long it has been lost. This always works without exception.

A nice picture of a pointless windmill. It doesn't care though, it likes spinning in the wind.

Except when it doesn't.

But when it doesn't you've replaced what you lost with a new one of whatever it is. Well that's good then, just how many of those things do you need to live a fulfilled life? This is the Art of Slack.

“Aha,” you say, “that's all very well, but there are things that I've lost that are irreplaceable, what is your Art of Slack gonna do about that then?” <arms folded, indignant look>.

Well fortunately I have a stock of smug answers ready for the folded up indignants. The Art of Slack is there to enhance your life not to rule it. When it helps use it, when it doesn't don't, when you've forgotten it exists it doesn't matter but sometimes it will make you smile as you see the wry side of life. The Art of Slack is the little wrinkles of a smirk at the corner of your mouth.

Okay then, whatever. So you've lost your keys and you have an important appointment you just cannot miss. Where does the Art of Slack help with that?

Well, smart-arse, perhaps it won't, perhaps it can't, perhaps you just expect too much!

Or maybe it's giving you little hints.

This is how I find my keys when I lose them and the lossiness just cannot be...

“arrrgghghh, where are my bleedin' keys!”

“you've moved them haven't you?!”

“I can't be late, I can't be late, I can't BE LATE!!!!”

“oh, there they are....”

Ooh a mandala! They're kinda cool and appropriate among all these hippy musings eh?

Now I'm really trying to resist the irresistible smugness washing over me right now. Smug people are just so bloody annoying, I know because I am one.

But this blog isn't for you it's for me right. So stop reading this right now! I'm looking to distill into words something that follows me around all day, a really joyous way to be. Trouble is, I HATE being preached to and being told how to do this, that and the other.

Feel my lips curl into a sneer as I hear the words "<insert any subject whatsoever>, what you want to do is... or... if I were you I would do it like this..." I really don't want to start doing that to you but how else do I communicate this drivel I feel the need to divulge to whoever can read? 

Well, the Art of Slack is a way to be free, it's no nirvana, not snake oil, it doesn't promise 2 years interest free credit, 3 years trouble free trundling or include a 32 year warranty (except for teeth). But all the same there is something tangible to be experienced and it's worth hanging around to find out, there's all sorts down the back of the sofa worth routing around for.

I ate a pie on Saturday night, it was a very nice pie. I really enjoyed eating it. In the ten minutes it took to imbibe my life was well....... pie.

Was it as good as that other pie I had that other week? You know, the one that was so very tasty and luscious and well, just mmmmmm.

Was one better than the other?

I don't think I can answer that question. Maybe I can explain better with maths.

Example 1




Example 2






Now I'm not much of a mathematician but I sure like a pie and in each of those pie moments the moment was so very pie, and so very nice and so very mmmmmmmmmm

Is there anything else that matters? Do I need to spend any time comparing the two pies?

Not a pie...